I couldn’t help myself.
I am now, more than ever, determined to succeed in life. In everything I do, I must put 200% effort. Opportunities are rare, so once they come knocking, you better take advantage of it as much as you can. In the past two weeks, I’ve been offer 3 separate design-related jobs. One of which is for the Lions Club SF Chapter, a pretty prestigious group of rich folks who do philanthropic work for the community. Every year, they hold an annual Miss Teen Chinatown Pageant, and for the past decade they have been using the same designers and publicity team to advertise the show. Basically they’re old people with no design aesthetic. This year, they want a more “fresh” take on things and hired me and two other good friends of mine to be part of the production team. The Chair of Lions Club personally sought us out and took us to lunch to discuss this project! This is probably the biggest opportunity I’ve been offered, being that it’s such a large-scale event. I’m in charge of all graphics, which includes promotional posters, flyers, program book, photography, etc. My other friends are in charge of music and videography on that actual event day. I’m really excited about this because I get to work with locally famous people (such as meeting the anchor lady of KTSF news) and the amount of networking I can do is endless. I’ve been pretty lucky in terms of doing freelance design work. Every person who has asked me to do something for them has heard/found me through word-of-mouth. I haven’t been actively seeking work, but I know I should start practicing because this good luck streak won’t last forever. On another note, I just found out that all 3 of my best friends just found jobs and/or a great opportunity regarding to their field of study! This makes me so happy that we’re all pretty much on the same boat in terms of our career and success. I love surrounding myself around smart and driven people. They push me to be better. They make me want to be better.
”I used to call people, then I got into e-mailing, then texting, and now I just ignore everyone.”
- The New Yorker
Cory: Your hair doesn’t have a brain.
Nina: Well it’s closer to my brain than I am.
Haha, I can’t believe I say stupid shit like that. -____-
I was walking around campus today trying to find a nice spot to just sit and think but tell me why there were so many people EVERYWHERE. The music was loud and annoying. People were tabling and trying to sell food to anybody who walked by. How do they have so much time and energy?!! Why is everybody so happy? Ugh… Blah, I’m just bitter. Now that I have some time to really reflect what happened to me this weekend, I got to thinking…
I wish I could just snap. Go crazy. Throw vases, punch walls, break windows, yell like crazy. Today, I was this close to losing my cool. It freaked me out because I had always prided myself on being calm whenever something goes wrong, and when something starts tugging on your trigger, it’s a bit unnerving. I feel like sometimes, just sometimes, going insane for just a little bit, say a minute and a half, can help. It’s so much better than packing everything in, confined and unbreathable. So yes, go ahead and yell “FUCK” a thousand times, scream until your vocal chords can’t take it anymore, move on to your diaphragm, gorge on comfort food (they’re called comfort food for a reason), become a full-on narcissist, and vent like you’re the only one cursed with problems. This won’t change anything, but it definitely HELPS. After that, strip away those bad qualities, and you’ll find yourself attempting, at the very least, a small smile. I find it more exhausting and mentally draining when you try hard to pretend you’re okay, when clearly, it’s not working. The whole world can see the puddle of tears just waiting to protrude and the lump in your throat that’s only getting bigger. They know you want to cry. They know your eye shoots anger and resentment. It’s okay not to smile when you’re angry, it looks weird and kind of freaky anyway.
Sometimes, it’s okay.
- It is not as special as it sounds.
- It is not as hard as it seems.
“I’m telling you this because sluthood saved me. Sluthood gave me the time and space to nurse a shattered heart. It gave me a place where I could exist in pieces, some of me craving touch, some of me still too tender to even expose to the light. Sluthood healed the part of me that felt my body and my desires were grotesque after two years in a libido-mismatched partnership. Now I felt hot, wanted, powerful. My desire and enthusiasm was an asset, not an unintended weapon. Even now, with more time passed, now, when I am actually ready for and wanting a more emotional connection, sluthood keeps me centered. It keeps me from confusing desire and affection with something deeper. It means I have another choice besides celibacy and settling. It means I won’t enter another committed relationship just to satisfy my basic need for sex and affection. It gives me more choices, it makes room for relationships to evolve organically, to take the shape they will before anyone defines them.”
For the rest of the article, you can visit this link: Feministe: My Sluthood, Myself.